Before church my four year old son and I were walking past the Sunday school children as they were singing "Father Abraham". With an astonished and excited look on his face, he turned to me and said, "Mommy! They are singing Father eats-the-ham!"
-Lisa
Mom: I love you Stephanie, you need to be a good girl for Aunt Natalie today.
Stephanie (2 1/2): Busy with a toy in her seat, "Mommy I just can't love you right now."
-sent in by Aunty Margaret
Mom: How old are you going to be, Ava?
Ava: 2!
Mom: How old do you think Daddy is?
Ava: 5 minutes!
-Ava, almost 2
Mother who was babysitting my son: "Oh, I need to run inside and get the baby monitor."
Toby, upon her return: "Are you going to stick THAT up her BUTT??"
(Obviously baby monitor and thermometer are one in the same in the mind of a three-year-old...)
-karrie
I'm a single mother of 4 year old triplets that will be starting pre-school this month. So off we go last week to pick up their Free backpacks from a local charity....once the triplets received their bags we rushed over to our van. The children were so excited to see what was packed inside. Kennedy was the first to unzip her bag, she shouted "what the hellllllllll" (thanks SpongeBob) then Demi chimmed in: they gave us toliet pape --this is crazy! (really it was a roll of paper towels & a box of kleenex), then Ethan replied from the back of the van; hey we got a glue stick, what do they want us to do? Glue the toliet paper to our butts! Kid's you gotta love them!
-Kim, who thanks the local charity very much!
When Kieran was about 3 or 4 months old, he got a bad cold. One day I was
pulling a particularly large booger out of his nose when my 4-year-old,
Leah, happened to be walking by. She saw the booger come out of his nose,
turned to me, and said, "You gonna eat that?" (the implication being, of
course, that if I wasn't gonna eat it she wanted it.)
-Johanna, mother and supreme booger picker
Mom: I love you with all my heart.
Nolan, Age 5: I love you with all my elbows.
"Hey mom! I just went pee just like my dad. I lifted up the lid, pulled down my pants, laid my wiener down, squeezed out the pee, shook it, pulled up my pants and then I closed the lid so sister could go! Aren't you proud of me?"
-My son Toby, of course, all in one breath, Age 3
"While sending an email to a favorite babysitter away at college my son decided to type a special message – it looked a lot like this only lines and lines of it – “skjeoirlksjhglhjoieskjghgekl”. When I asked if he was done yet he replied loudly “Hold on mom, just be patient!” (Hmmm…wonder where that line came from?) Then when he was finally finished I asked him what it said and he said "I'm not sure yet – something about excavators and diggers.”
-Benjamin, Age 4
"Mom, how come you're always talking about my big tonsils? I never talk about your toenail fungus."
-hmmm...Anonymous, Age 5
Brothers are normally total opposites, right?
Alex (age 8) this morning: "I wore these underwear, socks and undershirt for 2 days AND NIGHTS...should I throw them down the chute?"
Colten (age 9) yesterday: "I think I wore these underwear all week...should I throw them down the chute?"
Michelle (the mother, age ??): "At least I won't have much laundry to do this week..."
Seeing a boy peeing for the first time (and we all know how shocking those things can look!):
"Mom? That boy's going pee-pee ot of a noodle."
-Marlo's neice, Age 4
Defending herself, kid style:
"But Mom, you weren't here when you were gone!"
-Erika, Age 11
"Look at my waffle bite. It looks just like a little wiener."
-Toby, Age 2
In a season of fly swatting:
"That fly is as dead as a toenail."
-Ellie, Age 5
After sneezing:
"Uh oh! I've got 'God Bless You' on my hands!"
-Jace
In response to a little brother:
"Ag! He's driving me nuts and peppers!"
-Ellen, Age 5
At a dinner "what are you thankful for" discussion:
"I am thankful for the whole life!"
-Grace, Age 3 1/2
"Mommy, if you moved away, there would be nobody to wash my clothes."
-Toby, Age 2, speaks the honest truth! |
