*Fart fart fart fart fart fart fart f and un-stuffed cabbage

It was a total coincidence, I swear, that I learned the best fart statistics in the entire world the same day I made a delicious un-stuffed cabbage dinner.
It started when I picked up a fantastic book at our local library entitled "Do Sparrows Like Bach?: The Strange and Wonderful Things that Are Discovered When Scientists Break Free" (found here on Amazon.) Flipping through while my daughter attended story hour I came across a story on farts.
Here's a bit of background: I love farts. Well, not smelling them, but I admit to having the sense of humor of a fourth grade boy. It all stems from two things:
1) Farts have been funny in every culture throughout the history of mankind, and
2) When I was little I was not allowed to say the word "fart" which made it all the more fun to sneak into my room, close the door, and say repeatedly into my pillow. (This is sadly true.)

So coming across this article brought absolute tears of joy because I have now added some of these fabulous farting factoids to my collection of useless knowledge.

According to a study done in Australia in 1993, men fart more than women and their farts are smellier. How did they achieve these results? This is the part that I fell in love with.
60 men and 60 women, for FIVE MONTHS, had to live with a "FARTOMETER" in their pockets (I am not making this up, but I really wish I was) and had to record not only how many farts they made each day, but also had to rate how badly they smelled.
Research concluded that men fart an average of 12.7 times per day with an odor quotient of 0.86 and women fart a meager 7.1 times per day with a less smelly quotient of 0.54.
Research also concluded that although there was a direct correlation of farting and fiber consumption, nothing conclusive was revealed about the relationship of farting and beer. This tells me only that my grandfather was not involved in the 1993 Australian study.

It all leaves me wondering, just what would life be like with a fartometer in your pocket? And what would have happened if those 120 people would have come over for my slow-cooker unstuffed cabbage dinner?

Perhaps I need do a study of my own. Making the meal is easy enough, but finding a good deal on fartometers might be a little more challenging.

Unstuffed Cabbage for the slow-cooker

1 lb. ground meat
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup instant rice
1 can tomato soup, undiluted
1 small jar (14 oz) spaghetti sauce
1/2 head cabbage, sliced

Brown ground meat and saute onions in skillet. Remove from heat and drain. Stir in rice and add a bit of salt and pepper to taste.
In a slow cooker sprayed with cooking spray, add cabbage. Top with meat mixture.
Pour tomato soup and spaghetti sauce over top.
Cook on high for around 4 hours or until cabbage is soft.
Tell your 3-year old that the cabbage is really noodles so she'll eat it. Tell your older children the cabbage will give them special powers.
Later that night, hold a farting contest. (optional)

*That was my best attempt at 7.1 farts. I am, after all, a lady.


denice said…
Ooooh! That sounds wonderful! The unstuffed cabbage recipe, that is. ;-)

Thanks for the statistics. I can't wait to share them with my fine husband, whose fartometer would likely obliterate the average.

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