Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The year of the Cherpumple

There’s a new level of gluttony that we’re about to achieve, and I for one cannot wait. As if the holiday season wasn’t hoggish enough with its gigantic turkeys and heaping bowls of mashed potatoes, there’s a new dessert making news that will send us all over the top.
Bulging over the top that is, spilling out the sides, and probably busting zippers and buttons across the nation.
The dessert was first introduced to me by my husband (proud follower of the Turduckhen craze) in a simple email. “Saw this in the paper. We’re making it.” I clicked on the link to find the most outrageous, obnoxious, and fantastic dessert I have ever seen. Enter the “cherpumple.”
Haven’t heard of this thing? Pronounced “chair-pump-pull” it’s the epitome of holiday desserts all rolled into one frosted mass. A slick combination of a cherry pie, a pumpkin pie, and an apple pie, encased in a blanket of cake and slathered with icing, the cherpumple is quickly catching on as the latest and greatest dessert of the year.
And who wouldn’t want to jump on the cherpumple wagon? Any bakery this extraordinary is worth the calories and the extra minutes at the gym, I’m sure.
But it’s more than just a fun thing to say. There’s a science behind the cherpumple and a specific method that I’m sure no one really tested but rather threw together as a collegiate prank at a family meal. It is indeed a three-layer cake with an entire pie baked into each layer. The bottom layer is a completely baked apple pie engulfed in a spice cake. That’s right, an entire, fully baked apple pie, totally cooled and de-tinned. After the spice cake mix is prepared following box directions, a small amount of batter is spread in the bottom of a 9” round cake pan. Then the pie is carefully placed on top of the batter, and then covered over in additional spice cake batter. (The remaining box mix I’m assuming you are supposed to make cupcakes with, although you’ll never have the stomach for eating them after you dance with the mighty cherpumple.)
From there, the cake/pie/cake is baked in the oven for 30 minutes or until the cake has baked and set.
The same procedure is repeated for each of the two remaining layers. The second layer consists of an entirely baked pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake, and the third and top layer of the cherpumple is a cherry pie inside of a white cake.
Once all three are baked and cooled well, the directions say to “frost heavily and to not skimp.” Apparently there aren’t enough calories in a slice of cherpumple, we also need to smear frosting between each layer and around the entire mass of sugary goodness.
I tell you, just thinking about it makes me want to throw on a bib and some sweatpants.
Our family is one that cherishes tradition, and Thanksgiving is no stranger to our annual rituals. We wake up every year and watch the parade on TV while finally being allowed to listen to Christmas music. We bake bread and take turns shaking the jar full of cream as we make butter. We prep our plastic containers in anticipation of the leftovers to come, and fight off each other as we try to snitch a piece of the turkey. But this year, we’re going off script and adding something new to our list of to-do’s.
Wish us luck as we venture into the world of food fads and tackle the cherpumple, layer by layer, cake by cake, pound after pound of frosting. Be sure to check back here on my blog for a Cherpumple play-by-play, with photos, stories, and family reviews. Friends are invited to check my fridge for leftovers. Chances are we’ll have a slice or two extra.

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