Thursday, December 10, 2009

To the guy who cut me off and then bought my coffee...

Anyone who has visited the Starbuck's in Wooster knows that there is an entrance and an exit. The exit is conveniently close to the drive thru lane, but, we also all know that coming in through the exit makes you a big, fat, cheater.
Especially when someone takes her time and drives all the way around.
Especially when that someone is a girl who literally lives on coffee. (I used to be blond...)
:)
Such was the case this evening, when driving around, the couple in the black little car tore in through the exit, nearly hit me, and continued to speed into the drive thru lane.
Being a world traveler and knowing how much the horn is underused in these United States, I gave him a quick few honks to let him know that I was not happy.
And I got nothing.
Not a courtesy wave.
Not a I'm-sorry-I'm-an-idiot/jerk wave.
Not even a measly glance in the rear view mirror.
So I did what any red-blooded girl who really needed a caffeine fix and had her children in the back seat would do-- we called him every name in the book.
These include, but are not limited to:
Big butt
Poop head
Doo doo ball
Butt face
Butt head
Dummy dumb dumb
Stupid head
Stinky poo
And at one point, my daughter even made the biggest threat of all:
"Smell my morning breath, you dummy!" And anyone who has ever smelled the stench that comes out of that sweet girl's mouth in the morning knows that that must have been a serious offense to warrant that kind of torture.
We waved our arms. We pointed. I used that moment as a teaching tool as to why you should be a courteous driver (and not a stupidhead) and that doing the right thing would have not made us nearly crash.
But pretty much, we let that dude have it within the confines of our vehicle.
I stared him down in his rearview mirror as he paid for his coffee and cookie (!) and as he drove away, still thinking about the lack of courtesy wave, I laid on the bright lights and blinded the poopface as he drove out of sight.
And then I pulled up to the window.
"The guy in front of you paid for your coffee. He said 'Merry Christmas'," said the employee.
"Really? Was that because he cut us off and nearly hit us and totally cheated?"
"You mean, you don't know him?" she asked.
"Nope. But Merry Christmas to him, too," I said, and drove away, laughing so hard I almost squirted soy latte out of my nose.

So to that man and his wife, let this be a lesson to you. Holiday or no holiday, a simple wave could have saved you over three bucks.

Merry Christmas, buddy.

2 comments:

JoeyRes said...

"Smell my morning breath" - that's a good one!

BECKY said...

Loved this, Karrie!! You are a hilarious mom and writer!!

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