Thursday, February 19, 2009

Liar, liar

As I sit here this evening, cuddling a fat baby and a half-eaten bag of potato chips, I am again reminded of something I firmly believe in.
It's not anything grandiose or earth shattering on any kind of level. I'm not taking a stand for or against abortion, gay rights, government health care, the stimulus plan, or the next American Idol.
But I am taking a stand agaist liars. Because that's what they are-- liars.
I hear it now and then and it makes my skin crawl.
"Oh, I don't care for potato chips."
WHAT? That's absurd. Practically a sin for any American. Potato chips are one of the tastiest foods known to man, and when the simple fried and salted starches are coated in copious salt, imitation cheese, or apparent beer flavor (have ya tried these yet?), the just about grow their own little wings and halos and fly around the room.
That is why I am declaring, loudly and clearly, that potato chips are impossible not to like, and that everyone likes them even if they don't want to admit it.
If you're wondering, the same goes for hot dogs.
They are beautiful little compact tubes of fat and salt and protein, perfectly packaged within it's only custom-made gluten-full carrying case. And if you get a decent enough bun, the mustard and ketchup won't fall out.
Who can't like that?
I'll tell you. NO ONE. Anyone who says they don't like hot dogs (especially the ones you get straight from the deli) are just flat out fibbers.
Need more proof? Hot dogs are so delicious that even vegetarians and vegans eat pretend ones.
Besides potato chips and hot dogs, anyone who passes up a dish of ice cream is also telling a big, fat lie. So are the people that say they don't like sleeping in, lemonade on a hot day, hot chocolate in winter, or the song Brown Eyed Girl. Same goes for dancing with a baby, the smell of fall leaves, or riding with the windows down in the springtime.
Because seriously, I turn on the news or flip on the computer, and everywhere I turn there is bad news. Politics, economy, environment, even entertainment. Nobody has anything good to report so in order to keep sane we need to cling to the things that are inheritly good. And if that means embracing my love for snack foods, cheap meat and old Van Morrison songs, so be it.
I'm proud to tell the truth, down to the very last crumb at the bottom of the bag.

3 comments:

Kassandra Vaughn, CEO of ROI Coaching and author of CHOOSE YOU! said...

I so love this post! I didn't know what you were going to say at first and then you got down to it and I have to say, "I must confess! I've lied about not liking potato chips. Though I don't eat them, I LOVE THEM!" There! I said it. Thank you for this post. It brought a big smile to my face and that's what we need more of in this world.

All the best!

Kassandra Vaughn, CEO ROI Coaching
http://chooseyouworkshops.blogspot.com

Samantha Gianulis said...

Hello world, this is why Karrie is my amiga. I haven't tasted the beer ones yet, I thought the new black pepper ones were awesome though. And give me a fat, steaming so that it's sweating, all beef dog in a potato bun with mustard & relish, and maybe some chili too, and I don't need much more (except a beer, and maybe a ball game).

PaulaJSchmitt said...

Oh piddle! WHO doesn't like potato chips? BBQ, Salt&Vinegar, Sour Cream & Onion, and just plain old salty chips. Gawd I'm getting hungry! And as for dogs...any kind will do with lots and lots of ketchup or spicy hot chili.

I know what we are having for dinner tonight ;)

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