Friday, February 22, 2008

The Constitution of the Kitchen Sink

I, The Mom of this, The Kitchen Sink, in order to form a more perfect home, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the family, and secure clean dishes for eating for myself and my family, do ordain and establish this Constitution for The Kitchen Sink.
Article 1: The Branches of PowerAll Power herein granted shall be vested in a sole ruler, which shall consist of The Mom, because she is the one who inevitably gets stuck doing the dishes.
Article 2: The StateThe State of The Kitchen shall be under the control of The Mom at all times, and should never be blamed on The Mom. The Mom, being responsible for serving multiple meals and bowl-worthy snacks all day, is responsible for, but seldom the cause of, a kitchen counter stacked high with cups and plates. Those nagging about the state of the kitchen will be punished by hand-washing week-old milk-filled sippy cups.
Amendment 1: Freedom of reachThe remaining members of the household are free to place their dirty dishes into the sink, that large vessel in the middle of the kitchen. It should be noted that setting the dishes around the sink in heaping piles does nothing for the state of the Kitchen. Once in the sink, The Mom will, in time, return the dishes to a sanitary state, so the family can once again use an entire dish for a single cracker and leave it again, on the counter.
Amendment 2: The right to bare armsFamily members are permitted to roll up their sleeves and wash dishes at any time, although The Mom expects this as much as she expects a good fairy to fly in and scrub her refrigerator shelves.
Amendment 3: Search and seizure
The family is required by The Mom law to not leave dirty dishes scattered throughout the house. The Mom does not enjoy having to hunt for above mentioned sippy cups that are often left in toy boxes and under couches, nor does she enjoy the midnight snack dishes left by the Dad in front of the TV.
(The exception of this rule is, of course, the coffee cups left by the Mom around the house because she never has time to finish one without being rudely interrupted by said family members.)
Amendment 4: Confrontation of witnesses
Upon the instance of a member of The Family leaving an un-rinsed bowl of oatmeal in the sink (or on the counter), the Mom will not assume responsibility for the crusted mess. Instead, The Mom has the right to confront and berate the member who committed this heinous crime, and withhold further meals until He or She starts scrubbing.
Amendment 5: The powers of The Mom
When the family decides to surprise the Mom by cooking her a gourmet meal of scrambled eggs or peanut butter and jelly, this does not mean that the Mom is required to do the dishes. Therefore, the Mom has the power to do unto others as they have done to her, leaving her own dirty dishes wherever she pleases.

Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of The Mom in the Year two thousand and eight. She has hereunto subscribed her name…in dishsoap.

0 comments:

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
This page and all its content are copyright 2006-2010 Karrie McAllister.